Once Upon a Time contest entry

A few days ago I started working on an entry for the flash fiction contest being co-hosted by the lovelies Anna and  Susi:  the Once Upon a Time writing contest.  It is open until 29th of April and is themed as a 350 word unexpected fairy tale.  The caliber of writing in the entries so far is amazing.  I've found several new author/stalkers for Twitter from this little enveador so make sure you check them all out.  Links can be found below.

My first attempt was shit but I posted it here anyway.  My second attempt, well it reeks just as much (maybe a little more).  So read it first before you head over to read the good entries.  That way you will be too distracted with the prime writing to come back and judge mine. O.o

Women were not Cal’s strong suit.  For years he had struggled to find Ms. Right, taking stock in the notion there was “someone for everyone” and “plenty of fish in the sea”.  He had been to the bars, tried the online dating thing, he had even let his co-worker set him up on a blind date.  And yet there he was, thirty-three, with no real relationship experience.  It wasn’t for lack of trying; women just didn’t seem to relate to him.  His Whedonisms and obscure comic references seemed lost on his dates.  They were unimpressed by his processing speeds and redundant backups. And none had every fully appreciated his blue garden shed in which he had cleverly designed a basement in order to make it deceptively bigger on the inside.

So it was with a blatant lack of interest that he clicked down the blinds to peer out the window at the sexy new neighbor moving in next door.  The curvy figure was enough to make any man take notice.  But it was the trash blonde hair and cut off shorts that had Cal's fantasy machine cranked into overdrive.  Maybe she was a model; or she might be an exotic dancer.  Better yet she could be an undercover CIA agent stationed there to keep an eye on the local motorcycle gang.  Except Cal wasn't sure he had ever seen a motorcycle gang, much less one in the area.

Cal watched until the last box disappeared into the recesses of the house along with his mysterious neighbor. He reluctantly let go of the blinds and resolved to get back to his saturday; his lawn wasn't going to cut itself.  After thirty grueling minutes of pushing a mower around his small yard, Cal headed into the back lost in thoughts concerning his next Skyrim mission.  He failed to notice Ms. CIA eyeing him from her back porch so he almost tripped over his own feet when she said hello. His bottom jaw hit the ground when she nodded toward his blue shed and said, "Nice TARDIS. Is it bigger on the inside?"